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Stuck, Stagnant, Or Frozen?

8/22/2020

7 Comments

 
BY DIANE KERTH
Picture
Photo by Hannah Skelly on Unsplash
Your finances are being challenged. Your boss is micro-managing. Maybe you don’t like your job. Maybe you don’t have a job. Your health is always of concern. Your family is adding to your stress and the world constantly has something happening. It’s easy to get in the mode of ‘everything is bad, my life stinks, and it feels like it won’t be getting better anytime soon’ as a way of LIVING. (Is that living??) 

I have heard many people over the years say that they are OPEN to coaching, advice or guidance but the truth of the matter is there are times people DON’T really want to hear anything constructive from someone else. Yes, I do get it. Life is hard and sometimes people just want to wallow, be sad or feel angry because they think, “No one else really understands what I’m going through or how hard my life is!”  

We have all been there at one time and it’s hard to go through things that we didn’t choose to have happen to us, or sometimes we are living through choices we did make and now realize was a bad choice. Change of any sort can be hard!  The difference with many successful people is how long they stay in that mode of wallow or even realize that they ARE wallowing and soaking in the misery. It’s unproductive and will make life worse the longer they stay there. 

We need to stand up on the inside, shake off the negativity and DO something to move forward.  We really need to FIGHT to MOVE forward. 

“You don't lose if you get knocked down; you lose if you stay down”.  ~Muhammad Ali

​So, what’s a solution?  

Start asking yourself, What CAN I do? 

Stop focusing on what you don’t have any control over.  Focus on what you do have control over.

Here are some examples of what I have heard over the last 25 years that do NOT move you forward:
  • Well, I tried that last year and it didn’t work.
  • Yeah, that may work for someone else but it’s not my thing.
  • That sounds too hard.
  • That will take too long.
  • That’s out of my comfort zone.
  • The timing isn’t good right now.
  • Well maybe.
  • I’ll think about it.
  • I don’t know.

From now on ask yourself these 4 magic words:

What CAN I do? 

I can……………….. 

I can clean my car. 

I can call a friend. Ask about their lives. Listen to them and say nothing about my own problems.  (Doing for others is very healthy)

I can take a walk. 

I can drink more water.

I can research something online that I have always wanted to do.

I can ask someone for help! (This IS doing something and often the hardest thing to do.)

I can………………

It’s the MINDSET we all need to strive for, there are ALWAYS things we CAN do.  
Treat this as an experiment for the next 7 days. Keep asking yourself at any moment you feel stuck, “What CAN I do?” and see how your life changes.
7 Comments
Connie
8/23/2020 08:00:05 am

Wow! What a simple and poignant article Diane! I will take your 7-day challenge and will ask every day "What can I do to affect positive change?" A few things are coming to mind already. Thanks for reminding me about : “You don't lose if you get knocked down; you lose if you stay down”. ~Muhammad Ali. It takes courage and hard work to get back up again. But, we MUST get back up! Thanks for the gentle nudge!

Reply
Diane
8/23/2020 10:21:00 am

Hi Connie,

Thanks for reading and commenting. I would love to hear the results of how the 7 days of Focusing on what you Can Do works out! Have a wonderful week!

Reply
Connie
9/1/2020 07:38:05 pm

Hello Diane,
My 7-day experiment to shake off the negativity and "Do Something" to help improve the situation was very interesting. Each day I consciously chose to do one thing which was out of the ordinary and took me outside my comfort zone. I learned that doing so required an investment of my time and effort. It meant me reshuffling my daily routine to allow space to do something for another person. Some actions were pleasant (going to lunch with a friend who has been lonely). Some were hard (expressing my personal views to strangers in a Zoom conference). While doing the action, I took note of how each made me feel. Some acts were very enjoyable while others seemed to be burdensome. However, all of them helped me to grow a bit and opened my eyes to the events going on around me. I think I was a help and brought some measure of joy to others. The end result for me was being more engaged and vibrant. For one week, I think I became a more interesting person. Now, I need to decide if I want to keep working that hard!

Diane
9/2/2020 09:46:48 am

Hi Connie,

So impressive to read about your experiences and how you stretched yourself! The more we do things that are hard, the easier and more natural they become AND the more we grow. You definitely sound engaged and a very vibrant person! Taking the time to be intentional as you did, benefits everyone. Thank you so very much for the follow up!

Jess
8/23/2020 11:20:41 am

Good read!! Thank you!!

Reply
Diane
8/23/2020 11:28:49 am

Thanks Jess!

Reply
Lars
8/24/2020 12:15:29 am

Focus on becoming a victor, instead of being a victim. Do the things a victor would do! Give up thinking like a victim!

Reply



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