BY DIANE KERTH
Your finances are being challenged. Your boss is micro-managing. Maybe you don’t like your job. Maybe you don’t have a job. Your health is always of concern. Your family is adding to your stress and the world constantly has something happening. It’s easy to get in the mode of ‘everything is bad, my life stinks, and it feels like it won’t be getting better anytime soon’ as a way of LIVING. (Is that living??)
I have heard many people over the years say that they are OPEN to coaching, advice or guidance but the truth of the matter is there are times people DON’T really want to hear anything constructive from someone else. Yes, I do get it. Life is hard and sometimes people just want to wallow, be sad or feel angry because they think, “No one else really understands what I’m going through or how hard my life is!”
We have all been there at one time and it’s hard to go through things that we didn’t choose to have happen to us, or sometimes we are living through choices we did make and now realize was a bad choice. Change of any sort can be hard! The difference with many successful people is how long they stay in that mode of wallow or even realize that they ARE wallowing and soaking in the misery. It’s unproductive and will make life worse the longer they stay there.
We need to stand up on the inside, shake off the negativity and DO something to move forward. We really need to FIGHT to MOVE forward.
“You don't lose if you get knocked down; you lose if you stay down”. ~Muhammad Ali
So, what’s a solution?
Start asking yourself, What CAN I do?
Stop focusing on what you don’t have any control over. Focus on what you do have control over.
Here are some examples of what I have heard over the last 25 years that do NOT move you forward:
From now on ask yourself these 4 magic words:
What CAN I do?
I can clean my car.
I can call a friend. Ask about their lives. Listen to them and say nothing about my own problems. (Doing for others is very healthy)
I can take a walk.
I can drink more water.
I can research something online that I have always wanted to do.
I can ask someone for help! (This IS doing something and often the hardest thing to do.)
It’s the MINDSET we all need to strive for, there are ALWAYS things we CAN do.
Treat this as an experiment for the next 7 days. Keep asking yourself at any moment you feel stuck, “What CAN I do?” and see how your life changes.
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